It is obvious in reading the article she is later aware that this was simply a story she told herself to support her desire not to remain in a relationship with this person. Becoming aware we are the creators of the story, fashioning the meaning of events that construct the meaning of life, can thereby help reframe thinking. The ability to step back from thinking, to actually think about the thought process, is a cornerstone of cognitive therapy.
In cognitive therapy clients are taught to step back from their thinking, evaluate it objectively, determine if it is possible thinking is distorted, and challenge the distortions. Finally, they are to reframe the event in a more rational and productive manner. The ability to be neutral and objective can be of great benefit in finding, or producing, happiness.
This ability is also a cornerstone of Buddhism. In Buddhism one works at being objective, at being detached from events in life. According to Buddhism, this is a path to enlightenment, and perhaps, even before becoming enlightened, to happiness. Once awareness that meaning is generated from within grows, the ability to challenge thinking and create a more profitable meaning is available.
This allows an individual to design more happiness in their life, or to at least eliminate some of their sorrow. This is not to say people should lie to themselves, nor is it a call to lie to others.
It is also essential in dealing with others, especially those considered close. In overcoming self-hate, the Dalai Lama discusses how when one has honest and compassionate motivation , even failure should not affect their self worth. It is not a panacea. As such, it is not believing your truth that will set you free.
After all despite the flaws in human thinking - at some point there has to be an ultimate foundation for ALL perception otherwise no decision can be made related to our survival. The real issue is that language has confused many and science hasn't yet banged out a good theory of how and when we can trust our perceptions and where they lead us astray.
After all we all rely on our perceptions to avoid death everyday on the highway when we get into a vehicle, so there has to be an absolute measure of truth even in our minds despite the areas of our thoughts that are distorted. Real truth is obscured by an over whelming desire for self preservation.
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It can cause one to "create a story" to allow that sense of self preservation to continue. Even detaching ones self from the story is a mechanism used to relieve the fear of self becoming lost.
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I like how the concern for becoming a habitual lier is brought out as a possibility to letting go of the story. To accept myself as I am in my most in most self through success and failure does not put me at peace. It puts me at war with the very truth I do not want to acknowledge. In the end, I loose. Now there's truth for you. So this lovingkidness first has to be established for the training of self observation to begin. What loving kidness training you can learn about it with the regards to "Dhamma", if you want to, of course is the following:.
It softens your heart. It openes your heart.
Because by being only in your head is basicly a defense mechanism, and to be able to go into "your house", you first need to built a new house with firm establishment, and only then you can go into that old house and break it apart. In this house it also included training of compassion and emphatetic joy. However, metta compasion training is the best one for the beggining. Or the most needed is a better word. I found that it has profound effects.
For example, listening to Dhamma talks about compassion with Michele McDonalds is a great way to soften your heart and to be able to get a broader view, which is then a good frame for being able to actualy meditate and speaking the truth is easier then also. A lot of things get easier really. It's like that with all components of Buddhistic teachings. While you establish one, it has profund effects on others. And vice versa. Your proposition has become popular in the psychology community and has filtered in business books and I feel is doing damage.
It is antithetical to the scientific method. It brings into question everything. And as a result leads to companies getting stuck. Here is the deal. If business get it wrong they go bust. They have to deal with reality.
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They have to know what is the truth. And the truth if they find it and know how to find it consistently will set them free. Let me give you a tragic example of what happens then you think everything is just perception and there is no real truth. A large solar company near me that borrowed a huge amount of government money had a chief technology officer that was responsible for new product development and said that variation in manufacturing doesn't exist. Every measured event has a specific causality and meaning.
So he proceeded to make products that weren't manufacturable and add process technology which degraded product quality. The net result of this was that the company's stock decreased ten fold and the chairman had to have a humiliating session at a congressional hearing. The truth is manufacturing variation does exist, there is something called natural variation, and variation from special causes.
The ability to measure, collect data, and abstract the truth gives any company a huge competitive advantage. It is often the difference between surviving and thriving. Your proposition that perception is reality simply isn't good for the business world. My blog is about human experience and working toward being happier in your existence. I wasn't trying to create a business model claiming the truth is relative.
This is about personal perception, and how it affects one's mood, not the scientific method. Of course there is a tangible reality that we all adhere to. However, what goes on in one's mind isn't observable, and can't be measured or visually confirmed by others. Perception is often erroneous, or at best subjective. The scientific method is objective. Hopefully people reading this blog post understand I am not claiming all of reality is illusion or understand that even if it is, as some religions claim, it is the reality we are faced with and must work within the limits of.
Thank you for reading. Thanks for your thoughtful response here. And I do believe the context you describe about perception now that I understand what you mean is powerful. Having said that, I seek your advice for a CEO that uses this, "perception is reality" as a defense from not wanting to accept what can be best be ascertained as the the truth.
This "the truth is relative" view seems to be growing among the CEOs I encounter. Perhaps they are trying to emulate Steve Jobs supposed reality distortion field. I just don't know. There is subjective truth and relative truth. Chocolate is better than strawberry, is a subjective truth. Insulin is better than ice cream to treat diabetes is a objective truth.
Truth does have a definition and I subscribe to the correlation definition. Knowing Jesus and the truth that he asserts is confirmed in reality as we experience it.